Sunday 9th May 2010 marks one year since my grandmother (mum’s mum) passed away.

She was a woman of strength and substance, someone who would fight on to do the right thing, and someone who consistently encouraged kindness, mindfulness and care.

I had the fortune of capturing a recording of her singing a hymn from the timeless Jain tradition called “Janaru Jaay Chhe Jivan”, which I’d like to share with you today:

Lyrics: Janaru Jaay Chhe Jivan

Janaru jaay chhe jivan, jara jinavar ne jap to ja
Ridai ma raakhi jinavarne, purana paap dhoto ja………Janaru

Banelo paap thi bhaare, vadi paapo kare shid ne
Sadagati holi hayyani, aare jalim! Bhujato ja……… Janaru

Daya saagar Prabhu Paaras, Uchaade gyanani chodo
Utaari Vaasna vastro, aare paamar tu naato ja………Janaru

Jigarma dankhta dukho thaya paape pichanine
Jinandarvara dhyanani masti vade ene udato ja………Janaru

Aare, aatambani shaano bataavi shaanpan taru
Hataavi juthi jagmaaya chetan jyoti jagaato ja………Janaru

Khilya je fulada aaje, jarur te kaal karmaase
Akhand aatam kamal labdhi tani laye dil lagaato ja………Janaru

(source of lyrics: http://67.252.77.106/~webadmin/lyrics.html#Janaru Jaay Chhe)

If you know the meaning of these lyrics, please feel free to share it in the comments below.

If there are thoughts you’d like to share about your grandma, I’d love to read them in the comments too.

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In the Indian culture, there is a traditional hymn that highlights the impact a parent has on their child’s life. It’s titled “mata pitane bhulso nahi” which means “never forget your parents”.

This hymn is typically sung during the prayer meeting after someone has passed away, often reminding everyone else to recollect what their parents have done for them, and if they are still alive, to look after them, the way they looked after you.

Mother’s Day is approaching – please take a moment to watch the video and read the words below, and do what is required right now to reconnect with those who have given you shelter.

Forget Everything Else, But Do Not Forget Your Parents

Bhulo Bhale Beeju Badhu Maa Baap ne Bhulosho Nahin
You can forget everything else, but do not forget your parents

Aganeet Che Upkaar Enaa, Eha Visarsho Nahin.
Their favors are countless, never forget that.

Patthar Pujya Pruthvi Tanaa,tyare Dithu Tama Mukhdu,
They prayed to many gods on earth, to see your face

Punit Jana Naa Kaadjaa, Patthar bani chundsho nahin.
Do not become rocks and crush the hearts of those saintly people.

Kaadhi Mukhethi Kodiaa, Monmaa dai motaa karyaa,
They fed morsels from their own mouth to raise you

Amrut tanaa denaar saame, Zher ugadsho nahin.
Do not spit poison on the ones who gave you nectar

Laakho ladaavya laad tamane, Kodh sau poora karyaa,
Those who loved you immensely and fulfilled all your desires

E Kodh naa purnaar naa, kodh purvaa bhulsho nahin.
Do not forget to fulfill the desires of those who fulfilled your desires

Laakho kamaataa ho bhale, maa baap jethi naa tharyaa,
You could earn millions, but if your parents are not happy at heart,

laakh nahin pan raakh che, E maanvu bhulsho nahin.
Always remember, those millions are ashes.

Santaan thi seva chaaho, santaan cho seva karo,
Expect service from your children, and serve being a child yourself,

Jevu karo tevu bharo, E bhavnaa bhulsho nahin.
Remember the teaching, as you sow so shall you reap.

Bhine sui potee ane, sooke suvdaavya aapne,
They slept in wet areas but made sure you were on dry land,

E amimay aankhne, bhuline bhinjavsho nahin.
Do not let tears come to those loving eyes.

Pushpo bichaavyaa prem thi, jene tamaaraa raah par,
They spread flowers in your path with love

E rahbar naa raah par, kantak kadi bansho nahin.
Do not spread thorns in the path of those path makers.

Dhan kharachtaa madshe badhu, Mata Pitaa madshe nahin,
You will get everything by spending money, but not Mother and father.

Pal Pal paavan E charan ni, chaahnaa bhulsho nahin.
Do not forget every loving moment of those auspicious feet.

(source: Never Forget Your Parents)

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Flicking through a collection of pics and videos with my dad and brother earlier today, I came across a video of my very own cousin waking us up after a heavy night out drinking in Corfu back in 2002. Check out his terrific rendition of “Wake up, it’s a beautiful morning!”

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/spq-bBBAJio" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Who needs an alarm clock when you have this wiked pop idol knocking your hangover into next week!?

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Do you remember that evening, daddy,
When you returned from the shop,
I was no more than eight years old,
But I was in a real horrible strop.

For some reason I was angry at you, daddy,
You knew it as soon as you walked in,
After all you’ve done for me,
Seems like I kicked you in the shin

That evening as Sawan greeted you at the door,
And I stood tense on the middle stair,
You gave Sawan a great big hug,
And glanced at me with such loving care.

Then you asked us both a question,
A phrase I’ve committed to memory forever,
“Are you my friend, or fisherman’s friend?” you asked,
To hurt you my response had to be clever.

Little brother Sawan, just six at the time,
“I’m your friend daddy”, innocently he sought to pipe,
“Forget that!” I thought just then,
The voice inside me began to snipe.

Father, you simply looked at me,
Curious about what I had to say,
“I’m not giving into him”, internally I affirmed,
“Definitely not today…”

“Fisherman’s friend!” I blasted out at you,
Demonstrating I’ll accept no defeat,
What happened next just blew me away,
In fact, it was kinda neat.

You pulled out from your pocket then,
A packet of Fisherman’s Friends,
Those extra strong mints you get,
Did I realise I was about to make amends?

“A fisherman’s friend, are you Suraj?”
Gently you handed me the mints,
You’d instantly diffused my anger, father,
And left this powerful imprint.

How was I to learn that day,
That in a battle you’d always win,
I never did like being in disagreement with you daddy,
Please don’t pick a fight with your kin.

Although I may never quite reach,
Such high standards you have set,
There’s one thing I want you to keep in mind,
This one thing you should never forget.

No matter how it may appear,
My intention will always remain true,
To utilise these wings you have given me,
Daddy, I love you.

I’m your friend daddy, I’m your friend…

Dinesh with Suraj at Dad’s 50th

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As I stood near the back of the crematorium this morning, I fully grasped the effect Nishen has had on certain people in this world, and the impact that it’s having on everyone they now meet.

You see, Nishen was a pretty unique character. Rare as they come. Back in school, at the age of 14, I was quite quiet. Didn’t really speak with many people, kept myself to myself, definitely an introvert. As I stood alone outside the classroom, waiting for the chemistry teacher to take the class, Nishen approached me and drummed up a conversation. This dude was actually interested in what I had to say. He took an interest in me when nobody else really bothered. Catch a movie this weekend? Why not…

So we went to see Escape from LA. Such a cool film that strikes a note every time I see it – reminds of the time when I’d made this true friend. After the film, we went for pizza. Conversation led to music, and Nishen’s love for jazz, influenced by his brother Rupen and father Manubhai. Most of the other indian kids at school liked nothing but Soul, Swing and R’n'B. Nishen was different… he liked all that stuff, in moderation, and he also liked his jazz. That’s when my passion for jazz was born. I play the trumpet, and had performed mainly classical stuff back then. Since knowing Nishen, my talent for playing jazz and funk has developed. This is the kind of music that reminds me that I’m alive and here to do something right.

Over the years, I’ve experienced various cool things in my life that Nishen exposed me to. Notting Hill Carnival was one of them, and something that I take my friends to each year. A Drum ‘n’ Bass night at Fabric one Friday, finished with a 5am breakfast on the train back home. Then there were Nishen’s parties – he’d take over his brother or sister’s flats and invite a few chosen mates. Flowing drinks, card games, chillout. A great chance to spend time with some random people that keep coming back into your life. Wherever Nishen went, he managed to spend some serious time connecting with individuals, giving them a chance to express themselves, regardless of how different they were from him. Nishen had operated in a “discrimination free zone”.

What about those endless eye-opening philosophical conversations at Nandos? Cool decor, buzzing environment, and Nandos bean pittas went down well. And the special ’sauce plate’ – peri peri herb sauce on the left side of the plate, peri peri garlic sauce on the right, and a dollop of ketchup in the middle. Heh heh, creativity anywhere and everywhere! All this topped off with a trip down to Baskin Robbins for a Jamaco Almond Fudge. I remember a time when we were having lunch one afternoon at Merchant Taylors’ School – Nishen sat next to me and explained: “I’m not eating meat now. Why should those animals suffer?”

At the funeral, Poonam spoke about the magic that Nishen spread through so many lives. She mentioned how, when Poonam’s sister had a baby, Nishen turned up loaded with mithai (indian sweets) – and not just a few pieces, he’d brought a generous boxful! Of course there was Poonam’s bouncy castle party, and Nishen jumping around, flying high, without a care in the world. Sona, Nishen’s sister, spoke about the time when she received a phonecall at work from a cheery Nishen: “Fridge Delivery Service! Your fridge has been installed madam.” – Nishen had managed to get Sona’s new fridge up to her flat before Sona knew about it.

One gentleman at the funeral told us that even though Nishen has left this place, he is still giving to the world – Nishen had carried a Donor card with him, and through this forward thinking, he has been able to donate his heart, lungs and kindneys. As the funeral came to a close, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” played through the speakers. This was true Nishen style. I couldn’t help but smile and dance at that spot as the words filled though my body. As Nish would put it: “Chill…” After the funeral, we went back to Nishen’s home in Northwood where the family served pizza – how cool is that?

Nishenbhai, I took you for granted, I thought you’d always be around. Now I believe that as you have served your purpose here, the time has come for you to serve a greater purpose. Your memory lives on, my bhai. May your soul go on to fulfill a greater purpose. Keep it real, dude…

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