The month of May has so far been one of celebration, bereavement, remembrance, family closeness, career progress and preparing for this summer’s events.

In the early May bank holiday weekend, Heena and I spent 3 days in Brighton to celebrate her birthday, where we feasted at several of Brighton’s many vegetarian / vegan restaurants. If you’re going to Brighton, I highly recommended the vegetarian restaurant Terre à Terre.

We held bhakti (devotional prayers) on Saturday 16th May in memory of Heena’s father who passed away 9 years ago and in memory of Heena’s kaka (father’s brother) who passed away 6 years ago, and a sadadi /prathna sabha (prayer meeting) on Saturday 23rd May for our dear nanima (my mum’s mum) who passed away in Nairobi earlier this month.

On Monday 25th May, a few of the family got together to write kankotris / invitations for my brother Sawan’s wedding which is taking place in August. It was a productive day, and with the recent bereavements in the family, it was wonderful to have the warmth of the family come together.

Preparation is coming along well for the session titled “Revealing the Gremlins” which I’ll be presenting at the Young Jains International Convention this July. It’s about recognising the barriers we face when working towards our goals, and explores what karma is really about. If you want to know more about this, you can read an introduction to the session ‘Revealing the Gremlins’ .

The convention is taking place on the weekend of 17th to 19th July in London, and is open to all ages (aimed mostly at age 16 to 35 and beyond, although there’s a special kids convention taking place alongside it). Do register to attend if it sounds interesting - the cost is heavily subsidised, and registration includes delicious Jain vegan meals! Let me know if you’d like to know more, or see www.youngjains.org.uk/convention for details.

Public speaking is also becoming an important element in my career, where last week I was invited to a conference to speak about digital marketing strategies to a room full of university marketing and communications professionals. This is really important for me because my role at Chameleon Net focuses on building relationships with existing clients and attracting more clients from the higher education sector. I received some very constructive feedback from the session I presented, which will help to make me a better public speaker over time.

Next month, Heena and I will be celebrating six months being married (and incidentally a year since I proposed to her). It’ll consist of more preparation towards the Young Jains Convention in July and Sawan’s wedding in August. Of course, June is also the month in which I’ll be growing a year older / wiser!

As you can see, the next few months will be quite action-packed, so thanks to all who have been patient with me about arranging to spend some quality one-on-one time together - this will happen September 2009 onwards…

With love,
Suraj

Contains useful tips for presenters on preparing for presentations.

It’s also an excellent method of promoting a book and worth learning from.

global tolerance is a positively different London-based communications agency who use their principled approach to PR and communications to spark inspirational media coverage for Gandhis grandson, HH Dalai Lama, The Green Party, Wallace & Gromits Childrens Foundation, TED and other socially-driven organisations of all shapes and sizes.

More on global tolerance at www.globaltolerance.com

Edward, one of the owners, gives us a guided tour and the ethos behind Beatroot.

One of the customers of Beatroot shares his experience of dining there:

Edward, co-owner of Beatroot, wraps up with a final video shoot:

Beatroot Cafe

92 Berwick Street, Soho, London W1F OQD  United Kingdom

Tel: +44 20 7437 8591

Monday - Friday 9am - 9pm
Saturday 11am - 9pm
Bank Holidays 11am - 9pm

http://beatroot.org.uk

With love,
Suraj 

Sawan Birthday Message - 27Feb2009 from Suraj Shah on Vimeo.

Disclaimer: I declare that what I write about in this article is not something that I have mastered yet.  My intention is to fulfil my duty as a husband and a family man, but I also know I have a long distance to travel.  Perhaps if I’m walking down the right path and I’m willing to keep walking, then eventually I’ll make progress…

When in a marriage or intimate relationship of any sort, you experience good days and you experience not so good days.  There are some days you are both all loved up, and others where you can’t stand to be even in the same room as your partner. 

Situations in your marriage can be those which are pleasant to experience, such as a fresh pot of coffee waiting for you first thing in the morning when you wake up every day, or being whisked away to exotic destinations throughout the year. Situations can also arise which are frustrating or painful to experience like your spouse hogging the duvet or something much more serious such as verbal or physical abuse.

So what happens in these situations that makes marriage such a roller coaster of a ride?  Is it time to pay a visit to the ER (Emergency Room) or are you prepared to explore the position of ‘Extreme Responsibility’?

Let me give you the lowdown on part of the karmic process so that you get a glimpse of why certain situations arise in your life the way they do:

You, the Soul, are bound at this point in time by a number of karmic clusters which each have their own pre-determined “time-bomb”.  These karmic particles are roughly categorised as bad karma (paap) and better karma (punya).  

When the karma comes to fruition, you experience in your life a specific situation.  The situation could be that you come home from a long day at work to a loving wife who has caringly prepared a meal for you.  The moment you take your first mouthful, the subtleties of a situation present themselves based on the types of karma that come to fruition.

If the karma coming to fruition was initially bound as a form of ‘punya’, then you may find the first mouthful very pleasing to taste and would continue to enjoy the delicious meal which your wife has so lovingly prepared.  On the other hand, if the karma coming to fruition was initially bound as a form of ‘paap’, then the first morsel of food you consume may contain a very hot chilli, and you may get angry about the experience and throw the plate across the table!

Both of these situations started from a place of warmth and love on the side of your wife, but the first spoonful you are presented with is a result of your own karma coming to fruition, whether paap or punya.

In essence, the Soul is bound by a cluster of karmic particles that result in the fruition of karma at a later moment in time.  This we witness as “life’s situations”.

In The Self Realization (a translation of Atma-Siddhi by Srimad Rajchandra) the interpretation of stanza 82 states that “The Soul’s deluded imagination originates sentient actions such as impulses, desires etc.  They induce the Soul’s energy to work in attracting to it the superfine material elements (Karma-vargana) and the latter intertwine with the Soul resulting in its bondage.  This is how the Soul is said to be bound by material actions.”

So when you, the Soul, delude yourself into thinking that you are the body, desires to do with the body start to surface, and these desires result in the attraction of karmic matter to the Soul.

You may say, “Why should it matter to me?  I’m not to blame for this karma.  It’s my wife’s fault anyway.  Shouldn’t she have thought through the meal she’s preparing?  It’s a wife’s responsibility to keep her husband well fed and looked after, isn’t it!?”  

You see, this is where the problem lies - you’re putting the full responsibility of the experience on something or someone outside of yourself (your wife in this instance).  It was down to your own bodily impulses and instant reactions which led to karma being bound to the Soul in the first place, which in turn led to the same karma manifesting as a situation in your life.  

Now here’s where it gets dangerous…

In relationships and pretty much anything in life, we tend to instantly react to the situation we’re experiencing.  We rarely take the time to observe ourselves and nip this process in the bud.

The enjoyment (raag) of a delicious meal could result in the expectation of every single meal being of this standard, and the dislike (dwesh) of a meal which is too spicy could result in “Why did you have to make it so spicy!?  Don’t you care about me?  Now I’ll have to go to bed hungry!”  

This continuous experience of raag and dwesh, attraction and aversion, likes and dislikes, bring rise to the kashaya (passions) such as anger, greed, ego and deceit.  The way you express yourself through these kashaya (via thought, speech and action) attracts further karma towards the Soul.

This one negative reaction to something you dislike has a vicious knock-on effect which leads to more and more conflict and many wasted days of arguments and tears.

Perhaps it’s time you took Extreme Responsibility for the situations you’re experiencing rather than heading straight to the Emergency Room to place blame and create more pain. 

Note to self: 

I am responsible for everything that I am experiencing.  It is due to the karmic clusters which I had previously bound to my soul which are now coming to fruition.  

My words and deeds, amplified by the quality of my thoughts at the time, determined the level of vibration my Soul sent out, which attracted and bound those clusters of karmic particles that bound to my soul, which in turn I am now enjoying or suffering for.  

In my relationship, whether the situation is one of joy or despair, it is down to me to realise that I am the one who attracted it.  I am the one who is responsible for it, the one who has to remain with equanimity, and the one who has to bear it.

To emphasise this point, in the book The Self Realization, the interpretation of stanza 84 states that “The results of good and bad actions are unmistakably experienced, enjoyed or suffered by living beings in this world.”

Why do we so frequently put the blame on our partner, the people or the objects outside ourselves, when there’s friction in the relationship? How about taking full responsibility for the karma we’re binding and therefore the situations we eventually experience.

Anything you experience in your various relationships is a direct outcome of karma coming to fruition - the same cluster of karmic particles that were bound to your soul during a previous interaction you have had with the world during this or a previous life, has now arisen as a situation you are experiencing.

Therefore you are directly responsible for every single thing you are experiencing.  

In Twelve Facets of Reality, Pujyashri Chitrabhanu talks about marriage:  ”That inner level will also bring deep meaning to relationships. When husband and wife inspire each other, they become beautiful company for one another. Their communication turns into an eternal communion. The idea in marriage is to work out karmas and be a complement to each other. When we live on that inner level, we communicate and find out what is our mission. And when one feels low, the other is a lifting spirit. “This will pass,” he tells his partner. “We have to be patient and wait for the sunrise.” When one person is moody, there is no need for the other to add to the misery. There is no permanent pain nor is there any permanent bubbling happiness. What is permanent? Inner bliss, tranquillity; all else comes and goes.”  

Start from this position of extreme responsibility, rise above the circumstances, apply abundant love and compassionate communication, and there’s your recipe for a healthy marriage.

This is the core message shared in the following video by Dhrumil Purohit, who highlights the difference in the way his relationship with his (then) girlfriend changed compared to the relationship he has with his father when Dhrumil embarked on a vegan diet at the age of 18.

Food, Relationships and Acceptance from Dhrumil Purohit on Vimeo.

Dhrumil has over the years transformed his eating habits into a primarily raw diet, and has created a supportive community called We Like It Raw.  Dhrumil also shares pearls of wisdom through audio podcasts at SpiritualPlayer.com

Just like Dhrumil, both Heena and I decided to embark on a vegan diet following a PETA video presentation about the maltreatment of cows in India that we both saw at a Jain event. For us, it was at the Mahavir Janma Kalyanak event which we attended in London in April 2008. The event celebrated the birth of Mahavir Bhagwan, and was a time for us to take inspiration from his life and absorb some of the core qualities he lived by.

In the 10 months since this change in diet, Heena and I have found it relatively simple to prepare and enjoy vegan meals, and have been fortunate to have the support of each other and those who are closest to us. There have of course been incidents when even people closest to us have indicated that trying to cater for us has been really difficult, but on the whole we have received love and support from the people who matter.

It appears therefore, that when you make a firm decision to transform any element of your life, if your decision is resolute and unshakable, and if you do not hesitate with the next step you are taking, then the path clears for you to do what it is that you need to do. The relationships where you will receive the most support will, through amplification, reveal themselves.

Just 48 hours earlier, Kavit asked me if I’d like to have a stag do on Friday night.  I said no thanks.  The wedding’s minimalist and low-key, and I didn’t really feel like having a stag do which involved getting drunk and ogling nude women.  Turns out he convinced me to have one, with a twist.  Kavit and Sawan took care of everything.

Vegan-friendly

I’ve been following a vegan diet since April (over 8 months now), so they made arrangements to have dinner at one of the best vegan-friendly restaurants in Britain.  The customer service was excellent, and everyone was really impressed with the food.  The next time you’re in London, make a special effort to visit Mildreds in Soho.  Although they have a no booking policy (other than for the private dining room), and they’re always busy, it’s well worth arriving early and waiting to be seated.

Alcohol-free

Following an intention to be more alert and aware of my surroundings and take considered action, I have been keeping away from consuming alcohol for the last couple of months.  I decided to drink no beer, wine or spirits all evening, which everyone around me kindly supported (following a little stubborn-ness from from my side).

Stripper-free… but I’m up for some jazz

There’s a certain level of respect I have for women and see no reason to spend part of my pre-marriage time pleasing my visual senses and igniting my passions at the sight of luscious curves on a stranger’s body.

Instead I diverted my sensual pleasures to that of vibrant jazz music.  The boys had made reservations at Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club in Soho, one of the UK’s foremost jazz venues.  Not only that, but they had unknowingly booked seats at the venue for the multi-award-winning trombonist Dennis Rollins - someone who bassist Darren Taylor of Jazzreloaded has highly recommended over the last few years. 

The perfect stag night

So it turns out that I had manifested the perfect stag-night: vegan-friendly, alcohol-free (for me at least), immersed in jazz music which I love, and not a single stripper or hooker in sight (even though we were in the heart of Soho)!

At the drop of a hat, my dear brothers and friends who could make it decided that they will be there.  Sawan, Kavit, Sagar, Deep, Amit & Ash - blessings to each of you for making the night so special.

Indian students represent the second largest number of international students in higher education in Britain, and the number of student visas issued in India have been increasing year on year.

The video was launched by the UK Visa Services in association with the British Council to capitalise on this growing demand, and has been placed on YouTube so that it may be shared with it’s target market.

There are mixed-views of the video, but overall it’s receiving the thumbs up from students in India.  Responses to the rap video include “this video is great stuff for us Indian students. it’s simple and encoraging. shows that UK welcomes students from India. good stuff”, and “I’m a creative arts student and this is brilliant! the way by which such a complicated message has been convayed seamlessly is quite refreshing.”

Take a look at the Indian Student Visa video for yourself and leave a comment below indicating where you are based (UK/India/other part of the world), whether you are a student or not, and what your views are on the video.

Do I really need to get overwhelmed and stressed by the number of emails in by inbox?  Pathetic, really.

For many people, their businesses are suffering in this current economic climate.

While the business suffers, am I suffering?  While this body suffers, am I suffering?

The answer is of course “No”, so why do I consume so much energy stressing over the situations outside of myself?  I must be a fool!  :)

Let me define and focus on my key responsibilities.  That is all.